Mommy, Why do you paint?
August 18, 2012
Reflection of who am I.
Most mornings I wake sore muscled and wonder what the day has in store.
Will it be grocery day or laundry day? What will I make for breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner? Will my 5yr old eat it today? Will I have a chance to paint something today? What am I doing with my career?
“Mommy, you have a job. You paint.” (the voice in the car seat behind me).
Occasionally, I manage to escape and adventure into our wonderful hill country to paint what I find. This summer has been a bit more problematic so there has been a lot less painting. Only to realize the summer is fast coming to an end and my little boy will be starting school this year. I know that I have been blessed to spend a great summer with him and remembered to include trips to feed the ducks, walk where dinosaurs may have walked, climb big rocks and see small mountains that are now dormant / extinct volcanoes.
I have still managed to be somewhat productive and score an occasional painting. I have even shared the process more this summer with my son.
Teaching him is always a new challenge for both of us. He can often see it in the simpler form faster than I, since he has different expectations.
Yet, each day I wonder, what am I doing? How am I going to get to a point where I filled valued as an artist (before I kick the bucket)? So I keep practicing what I know…painting. Values, colors, compositions, drawing. more practice. All the while hunting for jobs to help cover our bills, that will work with my skill sets and mommy schedule. Some day, I will get to teach the art of painting shapes & forms to reflect what we see and feel.
Then, there in the dark is the universal question through the voice of a 5yr old whom is wiser than he knows sometimes. The same child that struggles to eat veggies and share his toys asks:
“Mommy, Why do you paint?”
~Because, Mommy, needs to paint what she see and how it makes her feel in the colors. It’s what I know I need to do. (I follow the colors in the light and dark).
“Ok. Mommy. I think the next time you go I want to go too.”
Clarity. My son’s reflection of who I am as an artist already is pretty awesome.
Learning to accept the good I have acquired is harder… That I can paint, and to enjoy that part as my life with my family life.
~yes, it’s time to share and enjoy the painting adventures too.