Mommy, Why do you paint?

August 18, 2012

Reflection of who am I.
Most mornings I wake sore muscled and wonder what the day has in store.
Will it be grocery day or laundry day? What will I make for breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner?  Will my 5yr old eat it today?  Will I have a chance to paint something today?  What am I doing with my career?
“Mommy, you have a job. You paint.”  (the voice in the car seat behind me).

Occasionally, I manage to escape and adventure into our wonderful hill country to paint what I find.  This summer has been a bit more problematic so there has been a lot less painting.  Only to realize the summer is fast coming to an end and my little boy will be starting school this year.  I know that I have been blessed to spend a great summer with him and remembered to include trips to feed the ducks, walk where dinosaurs may have walked,  climb big rocks and see small mountains that are now dormant / extinct volcanoes.
I have still managed to be somewhat productive and score an occasional painting.  I have even shared the process more this summer with my son.

Little helper toning canvas.

Teaching him is always a new challenge for both of us.  He can often see it in the simpler form faster than I, since he has different expectations.

Painting his waterfalls and lava!

Yet, each day I wonder, what am I doing?  How am I going to get to a point where I filled valued as an artist (before I kick the bucket)?  So I keep practicing what I know…painting. Values, colors, compositions, drawing.  more practice.  All the while hunting for jobs to help cover our bills, that will work with my skill sets and mommy schedule.  Some day, I will get to teach the art of painting shapes & forms to reflect what we see and feel.

Then, there in the dark is the universal question through the voice of a 5yr old whom is wiser than he knows sometimes.  The same child that struggles to eat veggies and share his toys asks:
“Mommy, Why do you paint?”
~Because, Mommy, needs to paint what she see and how it makes her feel in the colors.  It’s what I know I need to do.  (I follow the colors in the light and dark).
“Ok. Mommy. I think the next time you go I want to go too.”

Clarity.  My son’s reflection of who I am as an artist already is pretty awesome.
Learning to accept the good I have acquired is harder… That I can paint, and to enjoy that part as my life with my family life.
~yes, it’s time to share and enjoy the painting adventures too.

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