The grand Scale of things.

August 21, 2011

It has been 3 months since I completed my Master’s degree. YAY!  or so I thought.  I have yet to throw a celebratory party since I figured it best to find a solid job.  Looks like that’s postponed too.

See apparently while I was attending classes and working on a preferred degree for career advancement the job market most effectively shut down.  So these days I spend my days updating resumes and cover letters to submit for new listings in a wide range of active job postings.  Or researching software tutorials to get updates on the new software requirements. Honestly, I have more than 30 active applications out from recruiting to office assistant, with little activity thus far.  But I still have all the bills piling in all the faster and wanting payment.

These past 3 months have been crusher, from emergency room visits to major house repairs. We have cut and trimmed back everything we can think of.   No, we don’t have cable we dropped that 8 months back.  We have to keep the web access for my husband’s job access but nothing else in the extravagant category.  Shopping is limited strictly to necessities and critical food options.  And the attrition of numbers still grow longer than the gravy train while our last reserves dwindle into the negatives here.

I’m still pushing against the rock trying to get up the hill.  Every day I hear:

Where do I want to go these days?  Well, working would be a start.   As an artist would be a bonus!  Realistically, I know very limited availability these days. I have plenty of real skills too. I have plenty of quality ideas but no means to capitalize on them because that requires more capital i don’t have.

What do you want to do?  I would be happy starting the day knowing I could contribute intellectual value and help someplace or some one grow in the community.  I am a jack of most trades have worked everything from retail to non-profit to public education.  I went back for the masters because I was loosing out on good job opportunities without it.  So now what?  Go back to classes for more software instructions that will be outdated as soon as I complete the courses?

More recently, I keep hearing from random sources look on the bright side of things. You have your education now!  The right thing will come along.  Maybe your supposed to do “something else”.

As an artist I have been most productive, completing more than 30 paintings in the last 2-3 months. I didn’t paint for most of the last 3 weeks b/c of other obligations.  I have prepped and hung 2 shows and saw a total of 6 people visit between the two.  I’m still trying to focus on the next one lined up, but it’s a bit disheartening to see so little turn out in an area that loves the arts so much.

But the Reality of it?  I have a brain, and I can see that it means at this pace I am going to lose everything we have worked to keep through all the other set backs and catastrophes.  Including the house we haven’t been able to sell in 3 years.  So I’m still at the bottom of the hill.

I am a working artist, on the starving list, trying to push the what paints I have left, but the rest is bogged up on the hill waiting…

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One Response to “The grand Scale of things.”

  1. OgreMkV Says:

    I still love you and Xander does too. We’ll survive.


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