In the Midst. (part 2)

July 19, 2011

No painting today or yesterday.  Life is that way.  Some days are tapped out, catch up, or just sick days.  Other days I am in the studio doing what I know best. Painting.  -and rambling.

Most the time I am just trying to see through all the garble and muck that is my life.  I have a full Masters, 15 years of painting, 10 yrs of managing offices, teaching classes and coordinating organizations.  I am posting multiple resumes and paintings every week. Double checking my budgets weekly sometimes daily.  I am still effectively unemployed.

Yes, I know the job market changed, more like crashed without a parachute.  I still have to provide for my child. Still need to eat. I am reminded of the depression era when so many were out of work and remember the many groups of artists that were hired out to “improve” the communities value by painting murals. But wonder how did so many other artists make it through similar times?What does it say of our commitment to our future when we have devalued education and the fine arts so much in favor of the next electronic gadget addiction?

So I keep painting while I try to muddle this out, find my place.

Defining one’s career is much like the evolution and birth of any painting.  You start with a simple idea that you can’t walk away from because it’s actually Good.  It could work.  It will need to grow.  So you learn more to grow it, nurture it.

You start with simple black & white ideas and sketches. Work out a plan. Lay out your materials find resources and work at it.  Rework the plan, edit, edit, re-evaluate. Push and pull the paint.  Scrape if needed, rework the transitions between the vague and the tangible…. eventually it’s close to the intended vision you can actually let it go.   To become the flame of hope to lead to a modest life and career.   There is no set path or format to getting it done.  Each stage is new. Each painting is different set of complex challenges just the same in life.

I paint with the understanding that it is a means to ease the tension and frustrations I have with the world.  Yes, I know my paintings are more a part of my psychosis than I like to admit. If you look beneath the surface of a very writer or artist you will see they are reflected in their work just the same.

So I paint.

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